The short version: Leaders will not make decisions without approval because the organization has trained them not to. Every time a decision gets sent back to be socialized, or a smart risk that failed shows up in a performance review, capable leaders learn that deciding is riskier than waiting. The fix is not another development program. It is changing what happens after someone decides.
A leader makes a call.
Her boss says, “Before you implement, be sure to socialize it.”
She socializes it. Some people nod. Some do not. Within an hour she is second-guessing a decision she was certain about.
Next time, she does not decide. She asks.
Nobody lost their nerve. They were trained.
Companies are spending billions on leadership development and still cannot get their leaders to move without a blessing from above. The programs are not the problem. The daily experience is.
A leader takes an intelligent risk. It does not land. It surfaces in the annual review, and the raise comes in lower than expected. Message received. Play it safe.
Repeat that across an organization and you get a bench of capable people who have quietly agreed to stop deciding.
You cannot tell people to behave like owners while treating them like tenants.
Here is the part that should get your attention. Every decision they will not make lands on your desk. You are paying senior salaries for work that gets routed upstairs, and you have become the bottleneck in your own company.
What does self-esteem have to do with leadership?
Quite a lot, according to Alan Weiss, author of the forthcoming The Courage of Your Talent. Weiss argues that self-esteem should not rise and fall with your latest win or loss. In most organizations, that is exactly what it does.
A leader loses a client or backs an idea that fails. They stop questioning the decision and start questioning themselves. Do that often enough and they go looking for reassurance from people who know very little about the matter at hand.
Weiss writes, “I have found that the most effective, long-lived, and admired leadership is referent.” Referent leaders show high and visible self-worth:
- They admit errors, apologize, correct, and move forward.
- They look for the causes of problems, not someone to blame.
- They share credit.
- They accept accountability.
- They bounce forward instead of retreating.
Who would not want to work for that leader? More to the point, who would not want to promote one?
Are you building leaders or permission seekers?
Intentions are not the issue. Systems are. Look at yours:
- How many approvals does a capable manager need before they can act?
- What actually happens to leaders who make intelligent bets that fail?
- When someone disagrees with a senior leader, does curiosity get rewarded or does conformity?
- Has the system quietly taught your best people to wait?
Weiss says we need to give ourselves more permission instead of waiting for someone else to hand it over. The best innovators grant their own. There is a lesson in that for the people above them. If you want leaders who trust their own judgment, stop making them come to you for permission.
How do you give leaders their courage back?
Start by accepting that not every shot goes in.
Roger Federer told the graduating class at Dartmouth that he won only 54% of the points he played, and roughly 80% of his 1,500 matches. He learned early that a lost point is not a verdict on the player. Nobody punished him for swinging.
Make failure survivable, out loud. When something goes sideways, ask the leader for permission to share what happened, so everyone can watch a promising career continue anyway.
Then hand your leaders something more valuable than another development program. Permission to trust their own judgment, and the courage to make the call.
What is the fastest way to stop a leader from asking permission?
Give them a decision that is theirs alone, name it out loud, and then stay out of it. Permission is not restored through encouragement. It is restored through evidence. One decision they owned, that nobody overturned, teaches more than a year of coaching from the sidelines.
Ready to get your leaders deciding again?
If you have a leader stalled well below their potential, that is usually fixable, and faster than most CEOs expect. Book a call and we will look at what is actually getting in their way. You can also reach me directly at roberta@matusonconsulting.com.
If the leader in question is newly in the seat, start with *Suddenly in Charge*, now in its third edition.
