The other day, my daughter came home and proudly shared her Job List for Third Grade. I thought I would share it with you so that you could have a window into the future. This is how our schools are preparing young people for the workplace.
October-Pinch Hitter (or Hiter, if you go with “best spelling.”) This is the person who substitutes for anyone that is absent. This means you have to be prepared to do anyone’s job at a moment’s notice.
November-Supply Caretaker This person takes care of all the supplies.
December-Class Representative 2 These people are the line enders. They end the line, whereas Class Representative 1 are the people who begin the lines. As some of you may recall, there is a lot of lining up that goes on in third grade.
January-Horticulturalist. Responsible for watering the plants.
February-Debris Remover. Politically correct name for garbage men and women.
March-Roll Caller-These people take care of the attendance. Lots of power in this job.
April-Slipper Wiper #2. These are the people who are responsible for wiping the tennis balls on the bottom of the chairs. Given that there are four tennis balls to a chair, you can see why this job requires two people. This task is the first of many team building events that young people will be involved in before they hit the corporate world.
May-Recycler-This group takes the recycling to the school recycling center. A place that didn’t exist when I went to school.
When asked which of these is her favorite job, my daughter responded by saying “Pinch Hitter, because you don’t always have to do a job!”
Many of you may be laughing, but one day you will be managing my daughter and her friends. When that time comes, we will see if you are still laughing!